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The Stress Club: Tools 6–10: Exiting the Club One Conversation at a Time
- Tami West
- Oct 16
- 4 min read
If you’ve been following along in our Stress Club series, you’ve already explored the first five Exit Tools, ways to notice, name, and shift the everyday language that keeps us trapped in “the Club.”
If you missed that post, you can catch up [here].Today we’re continuing with Tools 6–10 — deeper layers of how we talk about stress, how we bond through it, and how we can rewrite our stories to find peace and belonging outside the Club.
Tool 6: Word Swap
Phenomenon: Stress Semantics
Ever caught yourself saying, “I’m dying,” “I’m drowning,” or “I’m slammed”?These aren’t just harmless exaggerations, they’re part of Stress Semantics, the habit of using extreme language to describe everyday challenges.And when we do that, our bodies listen. Our words tell our brains, We’re in danger.
The Tool: Word Swap. Start trading crisis words for calmer truth.“I’m dying” becomes “I’m stretched.” “I’m drowning” becomes “I’m busy, but I’m okay.”Each swap rewires your brain toward calm instead of chaos.
Tool 7: Identity Honor
Phenomenon: The Female Fate Myth
Many of us have internalized a message that says, “Good women push through. They keep going no matter what.”That’s the Female Fate Myth, the idea that exhaustion is noble and that caring for yourself is selfish.
The Tool: Identity Honor. Pause and ask: Who am I beyond what I do for others?Choose one action this week that honors your identity rather than your obligations — a nap, a boundary, a walk, a moment of quiet. You don’t have to earn your worth through depletion.
Tool 8: Reality Check
Phenomenon: Real-World Rhetoric
“Life’s just hard, welcome to the real world.”Sound familiar? That’s Real-World Rhetoric, the phrase that normalizes misery and tells us constant struggle is simply adulthood.
The Tool: Reality Check. Yes, life brings challenges. But endless burnout isn’t “just life.”When something feels unbearable, that’s a signal, not a failure.Ask: Is this a manageable challenge or a sign I need change or help?The real world can include joy, rest, and compassion too.
Tool 9: Connection Swap
Phenomenon: Inclusion Identity
Have you ever noticed how stress becomes our social currency? We trade stories of chaos like badges of honor: “I didn’t sleep.” “You think that’s bad? I worked all weekend!”We do it because belonging matters, and sometimes it feels like stress is the price of inclusion.
The Tool: Connection Swap. Belonging grows when we share both our struggles and our strengths.Try telling the whole story: “It’s been a rough week, but I handled it better than last time.”When we come back to the circle with truth instead of just tension, we create connection through honesty, not hardship.
Tool 10: Worth Reset
Phenomenon: Social Evaluation
Sometimes, without realizing it, we use stress as a measuring stick, both for ourselves and for others.If she’s calm, we think, “Wow, she must not have much going on.”If we’re busy, we feel worthy, because busyness proves importance.
The Tool: Worth Reset. Your worth isn’t determined by how overwhelmed you are.The next time you start comparing stress levels, stop and breathe.Remind yourself: Peace is not laziness. Rest is not weakness.Re-evaluate worth based on who you are, not how much you endure.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve journeyed through all ten tools, take a moment to celebrate. You’ve done more than learn strategies , you’ve begun an identity shift.Leaving The Stress Club isn’t about quitting your job or tossing your phone. It’s about changing the story you tell, to yourself and to each other.
When you rewrite your script, you help other women rewrite theirs.And together, we create a new club — one built on honesty, rest, and joy.
Want to Go Deeper?
Get ready for The Stress Club Online Course! I'll be announcing that soon. And if you haven’t already, follow me on TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn for daily reflections and videos from the series (links below!).
If you’re tired of feeling like stress is your résumé, you’re not alone.Let’s exit the Stress Club together.
👉 Subscribe to the blog at https://www.tamiwest.com/blog
Love & Hugs,
Tami
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Keep the Conversation Going!
Which of these topics helped you most this week? Drop a comment below or send me a message, I love hearing your stories. And if you want downloadable quote cards, images, or deep-dive guides for any of these posts, just let me know!
Love & Hugs,
Tami
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Tami West, PhD
Stress and Mental Health Expert Dr. Tami West uses her entertaining and compelling style to shine a new light on how to transform your life and discover solutions to life’s challenges.
Tami has worked in a variety of industries including healthcare, school nutrition, corporate sales, and 10 years as a public-school teacher. In 2013 she received her PhD in Human Development, studying the connections among stress, emotions, and identity.
Dr. West has spoken in 48 states across the US, as well as the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand. In any given year, Tami speaks to groups with audiences consisting of anywhere from 100 to 3,000 people.
Dr. West is the author of several successful publications including three books: The Stress Club, Life Without the Monsters and Thrive. When she's not speaking or writing, you might find her with her traveling with her husband and family, reading historical fiction, or watching Big Bang Theory.
Tami connects with audiences through real experience, cutting edge research, and transparent stories – all sprinkled with humor! She will make you laugh, cry, and shine a refreshingly new light on life's challenges.
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Contact Tami at tamiwest@tamiwest.com
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